• A Tale of Too Many Bikes: Metra’s backwards bike policies
• Why Trader Joe’s is a very hip, cool and completely unBurro-esque grocery store
• ZipCar rules; Traditional rental companies drool

In the meantime, please enjoy my debut post about everyone’s favorite: a trip to the new car dealer.

After nearly a decade in a service business, I have little patience for poor customer service. I have an even lower tolerance for lousy service when it comes to auto repair because I know it doesn’t have to be that way.

That’s why I feel compelled to share my exasperating experience at the MINI dealer this week. Their division of labor and lack of communication between departments completely failed me—the customer—and they truly exemplified the damage a “burro mentality” can do to a company.

Before I go on, I freely admit to having an inherent bias: I’ve worked in the independent (non-dealer) repair side of the industry for more than 12 years. I’ve never worked in a dealership, and I’m sure there are challenges to running a larger organization. But I also firmly believe there are basic principles of customer service—no matter what industry you’re in or how large you are. And when a company or dealer doesn’t seem to care about that, you should take your business elsewhere.

That’s exactly what I would have been doing in this case, except the MINI had a glove box rattle and saggy sun visor. Even though the MINI is under warranty, the Magnuson-Moss Act of 1975 (scroll to “Tie-In Sales Provisions”) makes it illegal for dealers to require consumers to return to the dealer for maintenance while the car is under warranty. (Click here to read my official blog post about your rights.)

I pulled into the service area yesterday and was immediately able to speak to a service advisor. This is the norm, and I can’t fault their processes here. After about 10 minutes, the service advisor finished the paperwork and said, “Ok, we’ll just get you set up with a loaner through Enterprise because all of our MINI loaners are out right now.” I hear this same line every time I drop the car off, and it’s gotten really old because the Enterprise office has a way of wasting lengthy chunks of my time. (One Monday morning, I waited 40 minutes in line behind a mere two people.) Yesterday was no different. I was led into an empty office, and the service advisor said someone should be there shortly. I waited more than 10 minutes, and then trekked back to the service department to have someone paged.

About five minutes later, the Enterprise rep walked in casually, as if nothing was amiss. When I explained that I had been waiting and needed to get back to work, he said something along the lines of, “Well, we don’t always have someone in this office.” I can only assume he meant they had an Enterprise counter at the dealer’s collision repair shop, which was in another building. I understand the business side of not wanting to pay someone to sit all day in an office without a steady stream of the clients. But I don’t understand why the dealer doesn’t have a system in place to let Enterprise know when a client is waiting. It seems pretty obvious to me. How long would I have waited if I hadn’t spoken up? In the end, it took me more than 30 minutes just to drop off the car and pick up a rental. (To help you understand my perspective, dropping the car off and picking up a loaner takes 5-10 minutes maximum at Star Auto Authority, where I’ve worked for nearly 8 years.)

But this inconvenience pales in comparison to the events of the next day when I tried to pick up the car. We didn’t hear from the dealer until after 5 p.m., probably closer to 5:30. By the time I received word from my boyfriend that it could be picked up, I was running another errand and it was nearly 6:45. I dialed their number at 6:50 p.m. I hate to rush businesses when it’s so close to closing time, but I thought 10 minutes was plenty of time to reach someone and ask them to put the car outside for us. If I didn’t reach them, it would mean making a two-hour round trip from the city to pick up the car the following day.

The operator answered my call, and I asked to be transferred to the service department. The phone rang, and I was soon listening to a very official, corporate on-hold message from the Client Care Center. I was left on hold so long (about five minutes) that the system automatically transferred me back to the operator. I explained my situation, “I’m trying to reach someone in service so I can pick up the car tonight. I just need them to leave the car outside.” Her reply was, “Well, the service department closes at 7 pm. I’m not sure that’s possible.” I explained that I was aware of that and had been trying for more than 5 minutes to reach someone. I said it was critical for me to reach a live person. She put me back into the system, and I was transferred again to the Client Care Center.

This time, a representative picked up. I shared my request, and he said, “Oh, we only handle appointments. You can talk to a cashier, though. I’ll transfer you now.” He transferred me, and it was now 6:58. The phone rang and rang and rang. I hung up and called back, stupidly asking the operator to transfer me to the cashier (as if that was going to change anything). It rang and rang. I hung up and called back again. I again appealed to the operator for help. She gave me a curt, “The service department closed at 7 p.m.” Now, I was highly annoyed. I said very firmly, “I realize that, but I’ve been on hold trying to reach a live person there for 10 minutes. I need to pick up my car this evening. I know someone is still there. Can you please go find someone?” She put me on hold, and 8 more minutes went by. She picked up once to say they were still trying to find someone, and when she finally came back on the line, she said they’d been unable to track anyone down. Then she gave me telling information, “I’m not in that building, so I don’t know who is even still there, although the sales department will be there until 8:00.” I thanked her and decided to continue to the dealership on the off chance I could wrangle the keys out of someone in sales.

I didn’t have much hope that I’d be successful, but by now, I was only 5 minutes away. I walked into the showroom and picked out a man concentrating on his computer screen. I went up and explained the situation, and he immediately took the right approach and said we could get it sorted out. I was shocked, honestly. We walked back to the cashier, who was trying to close for the night. Her reply to my request, not surprisingly, was, “I can’t let a car go after hours unless the service advisor says so. Everyone is gone.”

By now, I was pretty much refusing a “no” answer. She finally said, “Charles is still here. Let me see if he can help.” She went into the shop and came out with a man, who I presume to be a shop foreman. He disappeared into the service department and came back with my paperwork after a couple of minutes, saying they’d pull the car around. Finally, success—but only because of my persistence.

I’d spent more than 15 minutes on hold and being transferred from one person to another, and the entire time, their departmental walls and apathetic personnel prevented me from reaching a live human being who could help. I know this happens every day in companies of all sizes and from all industries. It’s destructive to their customer experience, and common sense says it has to have a negative impact on the bottom line. Do you think I’ll ever buy a car from this dealer? (My boyfriend made this purchase.) Not a chance.

What makes it so unacceptable is that I know how this situation would have been handled in my shop. The client would have gotten through to a live person in less than 1 minute. Even if they’d been put on hold, they most certainly would have been able to make pick-up arrangements without any hassle. The phrases “that’s not my department” or “I’m not authorized” are never uttered. We’re not perfect, but we give 150% and come a lot closer than what I dealt with at the dealer.

The worst part of all? The dealer had to order parts for the glove box and sun visor. In another week or so, I’ll get to go back and endure the whole process over again. I cannot wait until this car is out of warranty!